How Indians are Named

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?"

She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"

She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"

The mother said, "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."

Mother Indian paused and asked her son, "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"

Hot Day in Texas

On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. After dismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it's tail and kissed it where the sun don't shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed the whole thing.

"Whudd'ya do that fer?" he asked.

"Got chapped lips," the cowboy replied.

The old man asked, "Does that help?"

The cowboy said, "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

Bowels not Move

Once there was this Indian chief named Chief Bowels. The neighboring town wanted to build a golf course on his land, and this made the chief very angry, so he sends a messenger to the council office, which was in the same building as a doctor's office.

The messenger goes in the wrong door, goes to the doctor and says, "Bowels not move". So the doctor gives him a pill. The messenger takes the pill back to the chief.

The next day, the messenger is back, and says , "Bowels still not move". So the doctor gives him a stronger pill.

The next day, same thing, the messenger comes back "Bowels STILL no move" So the doctor gives him the strongest pills he has.

The next day, the messenger comes back, and says "Bowels HAD to move. Tepee full of shit"

Everything's Big

There was this cowboy from Texas who decided to do a little traveling and when he got as far north as Kansas City he was feeling pretty horny so decided to stay a while.

That evening he hailed a cab and asked the cabbie about houses of ill repute, so the cabbie took him to one that he knew well.

After choosing a suitable looking gal they went upstairs and on the way the girl commented on how tall the man was. The cowboy said everything from Texas was big. After getting undressed and the girl had taken a good look she said I can see what you mean about everything from Texas being big.

"Yes ma'am" said the cowboy, " I mean everything."

After they had finished their business and were getting dressed the cowboy asked, "By the way ma'am, what part of Texas are you from?"

Child Joke: Cavity

Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Futh furiously scrubbing his penis with a toothbrush and toothpaste.

"What do you think you're doing, young man?!" she exclaimed.

"Don't try to stop me!" Futh warned. "I'm gonna do this three times a day, because there's no way I'm gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as my sister's.

Blonde Joke: Soda Machine

One day a blonde goes up to a soda machine. She puts in some money and a soda comes out.

She gets really excited and started to put more money into the machine. The more and more she did it, the more the sodas came out.

Someone walked up to her and asked her if they could get a soda.

The blonde said, 'Get out of my face, I'm winning!

Blonde Joke: Big Fan

A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan."

Blonde in 1st Class

A blonde bombshell walks into the airplane and sits in 1st Class and the stewardess asks her for her ticket. The stewardess tells her that she only has a coach ticket.
The blonde says, "I'm a cute looking blonde and I'm flying first class."
The stewardess replies that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta....
The blonde then retorts, "I'm a cute blonde and I'm flying first class".
Just then the captain happened by and asked what was happening....
The blonde tells him, "I'm a cute blonde and I'm flying first class....
The captain whispers in her ear...and the blonde gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach cabin...
The stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move so fast..
He replied, "I told her that 1st class is not going to Atlanta."