Rules of the Road

The female passenger will have to pee every 50 miles, no matter how fast you drive.

The millisecond you throw a beer bottle from your car, a state trooper will appear.

The exact change toll lane moves slower than the lane that has to make change.

The minute you pass a "Last exit for 50 miles" sign, someone will have to pee.

Toll booth operators must possess at least two of the following qualities:
-Less than ten digits
-Lack of teeth
-A rare skin disorder
-The ability to mispronounce the simplest of words
-The inability to give directions in under ten minutes

If you approach an empty intersection at 3:00 AM, the light will turn red and stick for two or three cycles.

The minute you decide to run the red light at 3:00 AM, a state trooper will appear.

Car trouble never happens until you have an important meeting, are already running late, or are at least 100 miles from any type of help.

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