The Perfect Wife

A couple had only been married for two weeks the husband, although very much in love, couldn´t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife:
- "Honey, I´ll be right back."

- "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

- "I´m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I´m going to have a beer."

The wife said:
- "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn´t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was:
- "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar.. you know... they have frozen glasses..."

He didn´t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying:
- "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said:
- "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d´oeuvres that are really delicious... I won´t be long. I´ll be right back. I promise. OK?"

- "You want hors d´oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?"
She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d´oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

- "But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there´s swearing, dirty words and all that..."

- "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP SHIT-FOR-BRAINS! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR #$%@ING HORS D´OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN´T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT CRAP IS OVER, GOT IT, NUMBNUTS?" .

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