Strip Club Enthusiasm

A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat conspicuously unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the opportunity, he took the seat.

As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind him yelled, "Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"

The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look. A few minutes into the show, the dancer did a move and snatched off her top, revealing two pasties. The guy behind our friend goes off again. "Yeah baby! Shake those things."

Our friend turned around and said, "Hey buddy, calm down!" After a few moments, the dancer did another move, and snatched off her dress, revealing a very thin G-string. Again the man behind our friend yelled out, "Oh baby! You're almost there!" Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the hell up, will ya!"

A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and snatched off both the pasties and the G-string, and the whole club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious, our friend turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your enthusiasm now?"

The guy responded, "It's all over your back, dude."

Is Sex Work or Play?

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question.

The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted the Sabbath."

The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"

He goes to minister... a married man, experienced for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority -- a man of thousands of years tradition and
knowledge: a rabbi.

The rabbi ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?!" The rabbi softly speaks, " If sex were work...my wife would have the maid do it."

Sketch the Human Body and Locate the Organs

Source: digg.com

Oriental Massage

Mike was on a business trip and was staying in this fancy hotel. When he went up to his room there was a sign near the bed that said "Try our Oriental Massage".

So he rang down to the reception and told the clerk that he'd wanted to try one of the massages. About ten minutes later this Japanese lady came up and started giving him a massage.

He was on his stomach and got pretty horny resulting in a huge boner. She told him to turn over and when he did she saw his cock standing to attention.

She giggled and said "Ahh, you want wanky!" and Mike said "Oooh, yes!"

She ran off into the bathroom and left him on the bed waiting. A few minutes passed by and she stuck her head out from behind the door and said "You finished yet?"

79 Ways to make Passionate Love

A man from Bangladesh named Futh was bragging that in his country there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.

A gent form Florida listened incredulously. "Why that's amazing. Where I come from there's only one way."

"Just one?", Futh asked. "And which way is that?"

"Well," the Florida gent began, "there's a man and there's a woman--"

"Praise Allah!!", exclaims Futh, "Number 80!"

What all Men Needs

A travelling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.

"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he had ever received in his life.

Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read: 'Manicures - 25 cents.'

"Why not!" the salesman said to himself. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a huge sign that read: 'This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - 50 cents.'

The salesman was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody around he put in fifty cents, then unzipped his pants and stuck his penis into the opening with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for two weeks.

When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his penis which now had a button sewed on the tip.

Nudist Colony Photo

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.

He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style....it makes your nose look too short!"