Got Teeth Down There

A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mom comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a dummy's skirt. "GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!" she shouts. "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WOMEN HAVE TEETH DOWN THERE!"

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars that nothing serious happened. So, for the rest of his life, this poor little boy grows up thinking that all women have teeth down below.

By the time he reaches 16, he finds himself a girl. One night, while her parents were out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After a few hours of making out and grinding on the sofa, she asks him to go a bit further.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" while pointing to her privates.

"HECK NO!" he cries. "You've got teeth down there."

"No I don't," she responds.

"Yes you do," he says. "My mom told me that you do."

"No I don't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek."

"No I'm sorry" he says. "My mom already told me that all women have teeth down there.

"Oh for Christ's sake!" she screams. With that, she whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head, and says, "Look, I don't have any teeth down there."

He replies, "Well, with the condition of those gums I'm not surprised."

Religion Joke: A Preacher's Sermon

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, " And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

He sat down. The head elder then stood and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

Little Johnny Joke: Letter to GOD USA

A Little Johnny wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

Little Johnny was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:

Dear GOD,

Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those bastards deducted $95.00.

Gay's Baby

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.

Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."

The nurse says, "He's happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass."

Caught by the Cop

A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over.The man pulls over, and the officer approaches the car.

State cop: "License and registration please."

Man: "I`m sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?"

State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph."

Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65."

Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!"

State cop: "I`m also citing you for having a tail light out."

Man: "But officer, I wasn`t aware it was out."

Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it`s been out for two months."

State cop: "I`m also fining you for not wearing your seat belt."

Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car."

Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt."

Man: "Listen you dumb *&^%$, shut your !@#$` mouth!!!"

State cop: "Ma`am, does he always talk to you this way?"

Wife: "Only when he`s drunk......."