Erap Jokes: Motto

For the Army : "No pain, no gain."
For the Air Force : "No guts, no glory."
For the Marines : "No fight, no surrender."
For the Abu Sayaf's : "No ransom, no release."
For Erap : "No read, no write."

Pinoy Joke: Isang Tanong, Isang Sagot

1) Keyboard ka ba? Type kita e.
2) Ice ka ba? Crush kita, okay lang?
3) Para kang SM, you've got it all!
4) Para kang plema! Di ka kasi maalis sa dibdib ko!
5) May MMDA ba rito? Kasi nagkabanggaan puso natin!
6) Pwede ba kita maging sidecar? Single kasi ako eh…
7) Uy malala na yung sakit ko sa puso, dalawa na lang options ko para gumaling, either ICU or U C me!
8 ) Are you a PS game? Because i hope you're not TEKKEN!
9) Alien ka ba? Kasi you're out of this world!
10) Yosi vendor ka ba? Kasi you give me HOPE and MORE!

Pinoy Joke: Pinoy Contractor

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.
One from the Philippines , another from Mexico and the third an American.
They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some
measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says. "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for
materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for
me."

The Filipino contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers: "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't even measure like the
other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? How do you
expect me to consider your service with that bid?"

"Easy," the Pinoy explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire
the guy from Mexico ".

The next day, the Pinoy and the Mexican are working on the Fence.

Pinoy Joke: Ganito Magbigay nng Masamang Balita

Kumirirng ang telepono nang madaling araw…
"Hello Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, yung katiwala nyo sa bakasyunan nyo."
"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala, Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?
"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga nyong parrot."
"Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? Yung nanalo sa bird show?"
"Opo Master Carlos, yun na nga po."
"Putris…sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong yon. Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay nya?"
"E kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne…"
"Bulok na karne? At sino naming salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"
"Wala po, nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."
"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr. Arnaldo?"
"E, yun pong mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir, namatay po kasi sila lahat sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."
"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anonng kariton ng tubbbiiiiigggg?"
"Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."
"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman yang pinagsasabi mo?
"Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay nyo…tumumba po yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy…"
"Ano? Puuut…E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan a, para saan yung kandila?
"Para sa burol po."
"Ano kaninong burol?"
"Sa nanay nyo po, Sir bigla kasi siya dumating dito nung isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso, Lampas hating gabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw binaril ko."

Pinoy Joke: Filipino Vocabulary

1.Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.

2.Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT, and DETAIL in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE, first DEFEAT and then DETAIL.

3.Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
I hear dripping in the sink. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.

4.Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
Jack and Jill will be celebrating their PERSUADING anniversary.

5.Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
Every morning I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION.

6.Use IRAQ, IRAN, and EGYPT in a sentence.
IRAQ is bigger than a stone. IRAN faster than my friend. EGYPT is smaller than a truck.

7.Use PAUL four times in a sentence.
PAUL, be carePAUL, you might PAUL in the PAUL.

8.Use CUISINE in a sentence.
I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a CUISINE math.

9.Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
Ring, ring.....Hello? Who SCHOOLING?

10.Use TOENAIL in a sentence
To get to Kaneohe, you must go through Wilson Toenail.

11.Use PENIS in a sentence.
Before my boy go outside and play, I tell him to PENIS his homework.

12.Use EMPIRE in a sentence.
Ready! EMPIRE!!!

13.Use DEFICIT in a sentence.
When I go to the pool, I check out how DEFICIT.

14.Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
Hello? Hello? HOSTESS?!!

P.S. If you don't understand this, you are not a true Filipino. (^_^)

Erap Joke: Potato

Erap was out dining in a restaurant when they overheard some people at another table order some potatoes and some mashed potatoes. One of Erap's dinner guests asked Erap, "What's the difference between a potatoe and a mashed potato?"

Erap pointed to the skin on his wrist, " Ito, puti 'to." He then pointed to his white shirt and said, " Ito, mas puti 'to."

Erap Joke: Logic Lang Iyan

One day, Erap sees Pres. Ramos reading a book on logic.

Erap : Fidel, mahirap yata iyang binabasa mong libro.
Ramos : Hindi, logic lang ito, madali lang.
Erap : Ano ba yang logic na yan, hindi ko yata alam yan.
Ramos : Ganito lang yan, may aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kung may aquarium ka, eh di mahilig ka sa isda.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig ka sa isda, mahilig ka rin sa dagat.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos ; Eh di kung mahilig ka sa dagat, gusto mo pumupunta sa beach.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig kang pumunta sa beach, mahilig ka sa babaeng naka-bathing suit.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung mahilig ka sa mga seksing babaeng naka-bathing suit, eh di lalakeng - lalaki ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung lalakeng - lalaki ka, eh di macho ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kita mo na na, ganyan lang ang logic!
Erap : Okey pala yang logic na yan, ah!

The following day, Erap sees Maceda in the Senate. . .

Erap : Pare,Maceda, susubukan ko lang itong tinuro sa aking logic ni Ramos.
Maceda : Sige nga!
Erap : May aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Maceda : Wala.
Erap : BAKLA! BAKLA! BAKLA!

Erap Joke: Miriam vs Erap

The most intelligent "presidential", Miriam Santiago, has challenged the least intelligent presidential to a televised debate.
To make things interesting, Miriam says that every time she asks Erap a question which he cannot answer, Erap has to pay Miriam five pesos. BUT if Erap asks Miriam a question which she cannot answer, Miriam has to give Erap five thousand pesos.

Miriam asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

Erap doesn't say a word, reaches for his wallet, pulls out a five-peso bill and hands it to
Miriam. Now, it's his turn.

He asks Miriam: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

Miriam looks at him with a puzzled look.
She whips out her laptop computer and searches all her references. She taps into the phone with her modem and searches the Net. Frustrated, she sends E-mails to all her aides, assistants, and friends. All to no avail. After over an hour, she admits defeat and hands Erap five 1000-peso bills.

Erap says nothing, but politely accepts the P5,000 and turns away to go home.
Miriam is a poor sport and demands from Erap, "Well, so what IS the answer!?"
Without a word, Erap pulls out his wallet and gives Miriam another five pesos....

Pinoy Joke: Pinoy Favorite Foods

This was posted in a restaurant near NAIA airport,
so, maybe next time you are around the area, you may
as well dine-in there, and check out their menu.
As you go on, it's becoming more interesting
and flavorful.(^_^) (this is based on true facts...)

1. TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog

2. LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog

3. HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog

4. PORKSILOG - Pork, Sinangag, Itlog

5. CHICKSILOG - Chicken, Sinangag Itlog

6. AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso

7. LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog

8. PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog

9. KALOG - Kanin, Itlog

10. PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog

11. MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog

12. BAHAW - Bakang Inihaw (akala ninyo kaning lamig
ano)

13. KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw

14. HIMAS - Hipon Malasado

15. HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso

16. HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpekan

17. PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpekan, Monggo,
Malasado, Laing, Kilawin

18. DILA - Dinuguan, Laing

19. DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo

20. BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape

21. BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape,
Molong Pancit

22. KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong

23. KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

24. SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Pancit

25. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit - Take out

26. SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo

27. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO PAPA - Sinigang na Pige,
Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit... Take out with Ketchup


28. PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong

29. PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong

30. PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Kapeng Barako

31. PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Saging + Yosi

32. PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Kape

33. PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA - Pandesal, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw na Bangus, Maruya,
Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit

34. SUBO - Sugpo, Bopis

35. SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo

36. SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit

37. SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige

38. SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki,
Kochinta

39. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola
Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis

40. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - ...same as #39,
minura mo lang yung waiter kasi ang tagal ng order.

Pinoy Joke: Dear Ate Charo

I want to share with you and your televiewers what happened to me and my Dad one night that until now won't leave my mind. And as a personal request, I you to title this as, "Don't Dad, please..."

It is still clear in my mind. I was raining hard that night. Thunders and lightnings were everywhere, and yet the wind was warm.

I was at my room combing my hair, with just a towel around my fresh and fragrant body, after a refreshing bath. I heard my Dad knocked at my door. When I peeped, he said he wants to talk with me. I opened the door and he quickly entered.

I was surprised when he closed and locked the door. Dad held my hand. He touched gently my hair, my face. With his fingers, he traced my eyebrow, my checks, and my lips. I shouted.

"Dad noooo!!! Pleaseeeee!!!". But Dad heard nothing. He continued what he was doing. I just close my eyes. I can't bear to see what Dad was doing to me at that time.

Then I heard Mom. She was banging the door and forcing it to open but to no avail. She screamed, "You bulls---t. What are you doing? You're going to ruin our family's reputation and future. Stop iiiiiittt!!!"

But Mom can do nothing. The door was locked and Dad was as deaf as a fish. My strength quickly drained because of shock. I was helpless. It was at this time that I surrendered it all to Dad.

After a few hours, Dad stopped what he was doing. He made me face the mirror. I was surprised in the whole world of what I saw. Dad is really a good make-up artist. It was confirmed at that night.

At that same night,Dad told me and Mom of his secret. He is a gay. I was really happy that Dad finally had the courage to tell us. Mom too was happy. She was proud my Dad, in fact.

I thought my boyfriend will also be happy because i'll be more beautiful because of Dad's talent in make-ups. I hugged Mom and Dad. We all cried. I was tears of joy. Now we are a more happy family living a peaceful life.


Lovingly Yours,
Britney

P.S. This is me that night after Dad make-up me. And this too.

Pinoy Joke: The New Five Peso Bill

After the the victory of Manny Pacqiuao over Mixican's Eric Morales, Central Bank of the Philippines made a limited number of the Philippines five peso bill and spread it all over the country. Due to it's uniqueness, the said bill is now a collector's item. The Central Bank said that whoever have in position of this bill will receive a prize of 500,000.00 pesos for every copy he/she owned.

To help you identify the said five peso bill, I scanned and posted here one of the bills I own (I have a dozen for your information). See below the replica of the said five peso bill.

P.S. Please don't print a copy of this bill and present to Central Bank. They'll notice it and you might end up in the jail. I swear.

Pinoy Joke: Funny Jokes?

Contributed by: Myrill Sioson

Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a
question.

Baby: sure mom

Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4
apples, what's your answer?

Baby: thank you po!!!
--------------------------------------------
BF: may malaki ako problema.

GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang problema natin dahil
nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?

BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama
--------------------------------------------
"There what it takes to be. Then we shall so be it
because it is. To do or not to is in the what, now or
what else. Without which there never to you!" - words of
wisdom from Senator Lito Lapid.
--------------------------------------------
Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!

Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng
Ms. Universe

Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?

Pare2: pare ako nanalo!
--------------------------------------------
Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako

Father: ano kasalanan mo?

Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao

Father: bakit?

Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po
naniniwala ba?

Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang
--------------------------------------------
Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot

Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob

Patient: (ininom ang gamot)

Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?

Patient: oo doc! putsa pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag
ang bungo!
--------------------------------------------
Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder...

WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! screamed the driver...

Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?

Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25
years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria
--------------------------------------------
1 panget na babe, hinoholdap

Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!

Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!

Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!

Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang...
--------------------------------------------
1 lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may kasamang
aso

Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?

Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!

Lasing: huwag ka nga sumabat! yung aso ang kausap ko!
--------------------------------------------
In a pet shop...

Customer talking to a parrot...

Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!

Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!
--------------------------------------------
Priest: ang mga bakla'y walang lugar sa kaharian ng
langit

Mga bakla: carry lang po father...dun na lang kami sa
rainbow mag slide-slide!!!
--------------------------------------------
Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A

Pare: approachable?

Bobo: mali

Pare: amiable?

Bobo: mali pa rin

Pare: o sige siret na!

Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!
--------------------------------------------
Girl: doc, pacheck-up po

Doc: sige hubad ka ng panty at bra tapos higa ka

Girl: hindi po ako, itong lola ko po

Doc: sige lola, hinga na lang po ng malalim
--------------------------------------------
Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka
na...ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?

Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers! pretty
diba?!

Pinoy Joke: Tagalog Dictionary #2

Abuloy --- bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla.
Akala ---- alam na alam daw.
Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang.
Ama ------ pamilyadong gustong maging binata
Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga.
Bakit ---- tanong na laging mahirap masagot.
Bakya ---- tsinelas na may takong.
Baga ----- lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave.
Bagoong -- masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam.
Baldado -- hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay.
Bale ----- suweldong inutang.
Binata ------ lalaking gustong maging ama
Biyenan ------ anay ng tahanan
Kaaway --- ikli ng 'kaibigan na Inayawan.'
Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren.
Kabag ---- dighay at utot na naghalo sa tiyan.
Kabayo --- hayop na sinasakyan Ng kalesa.
Kabit ------ asawang nakatira sa iba
Kalbo ---- gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog.
Dalaga --------- babaeng gustong maging ina.
Dalaginding - dalagang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra.
Dighay ------- Utot na lumabas sa bunganga.
Dilim ---- liwanag na maitim.
E -------- ireng paseksi.
Gahasa --- romansang walang ligawan.
Ginang --- asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay.
Ginoo ---- asawa ni ginang na may inaasawang iba.
Gipit ---- kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan.
Ha ------- sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan.
Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala.
Handaan -- magdamagan na Palakihan ng tiyan.
Handog --- bigay na laging may kapalit.
Hipo ----- haplos na may malisya.
Hudas ---- tapat na manloloko.
Ibon ----- hayop na lumalangoy sa Hangin.
Imposible - pagtaas ng unano.
Ina -------- pamilyadang gustong maging dalaga.
Insulto --- walang hiyang biro.
Isda ------ hayop na hindi Nalulunod.
Itlog ------- pagkaing amoy utot
Ita ------- negrong Pinoy.
La -------- ikli ng 'lalalalala' sa kinakantang hindi maalala.
Lalawigan - syudad ng kahirapan.
Langaw ---- kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura.
Ma -------- tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na.
Malusog --- hitsura ng tumatabang balat.
Mama ------ tawag sa sosyal na ina.
Mano ------ kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo.... at bulsa.
Mantika --- katas ng piniritong taba.
Mayabang -------- abusadong tanga.
Maybahay -- dominanteng utusan sa bahay.
Nanay ---- Ilaw ng tahanan
Nakaw ----- hiram ng walang paalam
Naku ------ ikli ng 'nanay ko, nanay na ako.'
Nitso ----- bahay ng mga patay.
Nobya ----- gelpren na laking probinsya.
Ngalngal -- iyak ng walang ipen.
Ngisi ----- tawang tulo-laway.
Ngiti ----- tawang labas ipen.
Paa ------- bahagi ng katawan na amoy tuta.
Paaralan -- dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo.
Panata ---- dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod.
Regla ----- masungit na panahon ng pagkababae.
Sabon ----- mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan.
Sakristan - utusan ng pari.
Sampal ---- haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha.
Ta -------- ikli ng 'tita' o lalaking may bra.
Tamad ----- taong hindi napapagod sa pahinga.
Tatay ----- haligi ng tahanan
Utot-------- Dighay na lumabas sa puwit
Ulol -------- sobrang matalino
Wala ------- salitang tagalog na minana ng mga ingles.
Yaya -------- alaga ng ama ng inaalagaang bata.

Pinoy Joke: Tagalog Dictionary #1

>>>Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
>>>Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
>>>Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
>>>Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
>>>Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
>>>Devastation - sakayan ng bus
>>>Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
>>>Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
>>>Tissue - Ikaw nga!
>>>Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
>>>Dedicated - Pinatay ang pusa
>>>Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
>>>Deduct - Ang pato
>>>Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
>>>Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
>>>Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
>>>City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
>>>Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
>>>Persuading - Unang Kasal
>>>Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
>>>Defense - Ginamit na mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
>>>It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
>>>Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
>>>Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit,eh DELUSION)
>>>Delivery - Walang bayad. (di libre)
>>>Profit - Patunayan mo
>>>Backlog - bacon saka egg
>>>Beehive - magpakatino ka
>>>CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
>>>Debug - ang ipis
>>>Defrag - ang palaka
>>>Defense - ang bakod
>>>Defer - ang balahibo
>>>Deflate - ang plato
>>>Detest - ang eksamin
>>>Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
>>>Devote - ang boto
>>>Dilemma - brownout
>>>Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
>>>Forums - apat na kwarto
>>>July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
>>>Thesis - ito ay...

Pinoy Joke: Signs - The Pinoy Way

on a street in San Juan:
"BAWAL MAGTAPON NG BINALOT NA TAE RITO"

on Jeepney and Bus signs:
"BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF"

on a delivery truck:
"NOT FOR HERE"

on window of a restaurant in Baguio:
"WANTED: BOY WAITRESS but not LADY BOY"

A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a university:
"PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN."

At a men's comfort room, above a urinal:
HAWAK MO ANG KINABOKHASAN NG BAYAN"

at a construction site in Mandaluyong:
"BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG"

somewhere along a wall in Kanto Tinio, San Andres:
"NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS"

vacant lot near makati ave.:
"DON'T PARKING"

at an eatery in Cebu:
"WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL!

Sa Pader sa Intramuros:
"MARUNONG K BANG TUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMI-IHI DITO"

on a self-service restaurant in Cebu:
"PLEASE HELP OUR COMFORT ROOM CLEAN"

in Cubao:
"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"

on a building somewhere in the Philippines.....
"NOTARY PUBLIC, TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO"!

Pinoy Joke: Comfort Room

Last week, I left Manila with a couple of friends heading toward Punta Fuego, in Batangas, when I decided to stop at a comfort station in a relatively new Gas station in Tagaytay.

Being a new gas station, this place would have a clean bano and clean facility to take a good crap : ) The first stall was occupied (my theory was correct) so I went into the second one.

Just when I was seated and poised to emit a very "silent" fart, I heard a voice from the next toilet:

"Hi, how are you doing?"

Putek!!! I thought in my mind. I am certainly not the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort rooms or any comfort room for that matter.

Normally, I would keep as dead silent as possible in a situation like this so no one would think I was there. What was I to do? run? keep quiet? so many questions in my mind.

I really don't know quite what possessed me, but anyway, I answered, a little embarrassed:

"OK LANG, pare!"

And the stranger said: "Whats up with you?"

Talk about your unnervingly dumb questions! WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?

(In my mind) I was really beginning to think this was just TOO WEIRD! So I said:

"WELL, JUST LIKE YOU I'M MAKING 'TAE'"

Then, I heard the person, all upset, say, "Look, I'll call you back, there's some idiot in the next toilet answering all the questions I am asking you."