Got Teeth Down There

A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mom comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a dummy's skirt. "GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!" she shouts. "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WOMEN HAVE TEETH DOWN THERE!"

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars that nothing serious happened. So, for the rest of his life, this poor little boy grows up thinking that all women have teeth down below.

By the time he reaches 16, he finds himself a girl. One night, while her parents were out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After a few hours of making out and grinding on the sofa, she asks him to go a bit further.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" while pointing to her privates.

"HECK NO!" he cries. "You've got teeth down there."

"No I don't," she responds.

"Yes you do," he says. "My mom told me that you do."

"No I don't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek."

"No I'm sorry" he says. "My mom already told me that all women have teeth down there.

"Oh for Christ's sake!" she screams. With that, she whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head, and says, "Look, I don't have any teeth down there."

He replies, "Well, with the condition of those gums I'm not surprised."

Religion Joke: A Preacher's Sermon

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, " And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

He sat down. The head elder then stood and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

Little Johnny Joke: Letter to GOD USA

A Little Johnny wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

Little Johnny was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:

Dear GOD,

Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those bastards deducted $95.00.

Gay's Baby

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.

Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."

The nurse says, "He's happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass."

Caught by the Cop

A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over.The man pulls over, and the officer approaches the car.

State cop: "License and registration please."

Man: "I`m sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?"

State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph."

Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65."

Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!"

State cop: "I`m also citing you for having a tail light out."

Man: "But officer, I wasn`t aware it was out."

Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it`s been out for two months."

State cop: "I`m also fining you for not wearing your seat belt."

Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car."

Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt."

Man: "Listen you dumb *&^%$, shut your !@#$` mouth!!!"

State cop: "Ma`am, does he always talk to you this way?"

Wife: "Only when he`s drunk......."

Boy Charged with Rape

An eight-year-old boy was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming.

As a last, desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down the client's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny sex organ for all to see.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried, turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small, still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?"

Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman-"

"WATCH IT," yelled the kid. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!"

Question and Answer Joke: Q n A

Contributed by: Alexandra Cates Erika B. Suyo

Q: The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
A: They used floodlights.

Q: Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David - he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German Shepherds.

Q: What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A: Turn right and go straight.

Q: Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A: The area around the Jordan - the banks were always overflowing.

Q: Which bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.

Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A: He only had two worms!

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible ?
A: Noah: He was floating his stock, while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible ?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Cake or Bed?

A husband is at home watching a football game
when his wife interrupts,

Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It 's been flickering for weeks now.

He looks at her and says angrily; fix the light, now?
Does it look like i have a g.e. logo printed on my forehead?
I don't think so!

The wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door?
it won't close right.

To which he replied, fix the fridge door?
Does it look like i have westinghouse written on my forehead?
I don't think so.

Fine, she says then you could at least fix the
steps to the front door? They're about to break.

I'm not a damn carpenter and i don't want to fix steps, he says.
Does it look like i have ace hardware written on my forehead?
I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours.
He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife,
and decides to go home and help out.

As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.
As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

Honey, he asks, how'd all this get fixed?

She said, well, when you left i sat outside and cried.
Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong,
and i told him. He offered to do all the repairs,
and all i had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.

He said, so what kind of cake did you bake him?

She replied.
Hellooooo....... Do you see goldilocks written on my forehead?
I don 't think so!

Always Wear Something

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something."

"Yes Mother," replied the obedient girl.

Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?"

"Not that I know of." she answered. "Why?

"Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."

Pinoy Joke: Pinoy Favorite Foods

This was posted in a restaurant near NAIA airport,
so, maybe next time you are around the area, you may
as well dine-in there, and check out their menu.
As you go on, it's becoming more interesting
and flavorful.(^_^) (this is based on true facts...)

1. TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog

2. LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog

3. HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog

4. PORKSILOG - Pork, Sinangag, Itlog

5. CHICKSILOG - Chicken, Sinangag Itlog

6. AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso

7. LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog

8. PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog

9. KALOG - Kanin, Itlog

10. PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog

11. MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog

12. BAHAW - Bakang Inihaw (akala ninyo kaning lamig
ano)

13. KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw

14. HIMAS - Hipon Malasado

15. HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso

16. HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpekan

17. PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpekan, Monggo,
Malasado, Laing, Kilawin

18. DILA - Dinuguan, Laing

19. DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo

20. BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape

21. BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape,
Molong Pancit

22. KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong

23. KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

24. SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Pancit

25. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit - Take out

26. SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo

27. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO PAPA - Sinigang na Pige,
Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit... Take out with Ketchup


28. PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong

29. PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong

30. PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Kapeng Barako

31. PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Saging + Yosi

32. PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Kape

33. PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA - Pandesal, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw na Bangus, Maruya,
Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit

34. SUBO - Sugpo, Bopis

35. SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo

36. SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit

37. SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige

38. SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki,
Kochinta

39. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola
Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis

40. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - ...same as #39,
minura mo lang yung waiter kasi ang tagal ng order.

Little Johnny Joke: Boy it's Dark in Here

This Little Johnny hid in his parent's bedroom closet, as he wanted to see what took place in their room when the doors were locked.

As he peeked through the slats of the closet door he saw his mother and her boyfriend going at it. Suddenly the boy's father comes home. The wife wisks her boyfriend off into the closet - the same closet her son is in.

After several minutes the boy says to the man, "Boy it's dark in here." Shocked, the man just nods his head in agreement.

After a few more minutes the boy says, "Wanna buy my baseball glove?"

The man asks "How much?" In reply the boy says $50.

The man agrees. Several more minutes pass when the boy asks the man if he'd like to buy his baseball bat for $50 as well.

The man reluctantly agrees.

After the father departs, the woman takes her boyfriend out of the closet, and too upset to continue she sends him on his way.

The next morning at the breakfast table the little boy pulls out a roll of money and begins counting it. The mother asks "Where did that come from?, to which her son replied "Can't say."

The mother asks again and upon his refusal to tell she tells Little Johnny to get in the car.

The mother takes the boy to church and tells him to get into the confessional and tell the priest where he got the money. When the priest slid the door over the boy said, "Boy it's dark in here", to which the priest replied, "Don't start that shit again!"

Pinoy Joke: Dear Ate Charo

I want to share with you and your televiewers what happened to me and my Dad one night that until now won't leave my mind. And as a personal request, I you to title this as, "Don't Dad, please..."

It is still clear in my mind. I was raining hard that night. Thunders and lightnings were everywhere, and yet the wind was warm.

I was at my room combing my hair, with just a towel around my fresh and fragrant body, after a refreshing bath. I heard my Dad knocked at my door. When I peeped, he said he wants to talk with me. I opened the door and he quickly entered.

I was surprised when he closed and locked the door. Dad held my hand. He touched gently my hair, my face. With his fingers, he traced my eyebrow, my checks, and my lips. I shouted.

"Dad noooo!!! Pleaseeeee!!!". But Dad heard nothing. He continued what he was doing. I just close my eyes. I can't bear to see what Dad was doing to me at that time.

Then I heard Mom. She was banging the door and forcing it to open but to no avail. She screamed, "You bulls---t. What are you doing? You're going to ruin our family's reputation and future. Stop iiiiiittt!!!"

But Mom can do nothing. The door was locked and Dad was as deaf as a fish. My strength quickly drained because of shock. I was helpless. It was at this time that I surrendered it all to Dad.

After a few hours, Dad stopped what he was doing. He made me face the mirror. I was surprised in the whole world of what I saw. Dad is really a good make-up artist. It was confirmed at that night.

At that same night,Dad told me and Mom of his secret. He is a gay. I was really happy that Dad finally had the courage to tell us. Mom too was happy. She was proud my Dad, in fact.

I thought my boyfriend will also be happy because i'll be more beautiful because of Dad's talent in make-ups. I hugged Mom and Dad. We all cried. I was tears of joy. Now we are a more happy family living a peaceful life.


Lovingly Yours,
Britney

P.S. This is me that night after Dad make-up me. And this too.

Pinoy Joke: The New Five Peso Bill

After the the victory of Manny Pacqiuao over Mixican's Eric Morales, Central Bank of the Philippines made a limited number of the Philippines five peso bill and spread it all over the country. Due to it's uniqueness, the said bill is now a collector's item. The Central Bank said that whoever have in position of this bill will receive a prize of 500,000.00 pesos for every copy he/she owned.

To help you identify the said five peso bill, I scanned and posted here one of the bills I own (I have a dozen for your information). See below the replica of the said five peso bill.

P.S. Please don't print a copy of this bill and present to Central Bank. They'll notice it and you might end up in the jail. I swear.

Pinoy Joke: Funny Jokes?

Contributed by: Myrill Sioson

Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a
question.

Baby: sure mom

Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4
apples, what's your answer?

Baby: thank you po!!!
--------------------------------------------
BF: may malaki ako problema.

GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang problema natin dahil
nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?

BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama
--------------------------------------------
"There what it takes to be. Then we shall so be it
because it is. To do or not to is in the what, now or
what else. Without which there never to you!" - words of
wisdom from Senator Lito Lapid.
--------------------------------------------
Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!

Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng
Ms. Universe

Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?

Pare2: pare ako nanalo!
--------------------------------------------
Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako

Father: ano kasalanan mo?

Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao

Father: bakit?

Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po
naniniwala ba?

Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang
--------------------------------------------
Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot

Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob

Patient: (ininom ang gamot)

Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?

Patient: oo doc! putsa pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag
ang bungo!
--------------------------------------------
Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder...

WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! screamed the driver...

Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?

Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25
years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria
--------------------------------------------
1 panget na babe, hinoholdap

Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!

Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!

Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!

Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang...
--------------------------------------------
1 lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may kasamang
aso

Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?

Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!

Lasing: huwag ka nga sumabat! yung aso ang kausap ko!
--------------------------------------------
In a pet shop...

Customer talking to a parrot...

Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!

Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!
--------------------------------------------
Priest: ang mga bakla'y walang lugar sa kaharian ng
langit

Mga bakla: carry lang po father...dun na lang kami sa
rainbow mag slide-slide!!!
--------------------------------------------
Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A

Pare: approachable?

Bobo: mali

Pare: amiable?

Bobo: mali pa rin

Pare: o sige siret na!

Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!
--------------------------------------------
Girl: doc, pacheck-up po

Doc: sige hubad ka ng panty at bra tapos higa ka

Girl: hindi po ako, itong lola ko po

Doc: sige lola, hinga na lang po ng malalim
--------------------------------------------
Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka
na...ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?

Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers! pretty
diba?!

Email Mistakes

It's wise to remember how easily email -- this wonderful technology -- can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

"Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

Top 25 Explanations by Programmers...

Contributed by: Emmanuel Caseñas. (The S_x Guru himself)

...When their programs don't work.

1. Strange...
2. I've never heard about that.
3. It did work yesterday.
4. Well, the program needs some fixing.
5. How is this possible?
6. The machine seems to be broken.
7. Has the operating system been updated?
8. The user has made an error again.
9. There is something wrong in your test data.
10. I have not touched that module!
11. Yes yes, it will be ready in time.
12. You must have the wrong executable.
13. Oh, it's just a feature.
14. I'm almost ready.
15. Of course, I just have to do these small fixes.
16. It will be done in no time at all.
17. It's just some unlucky coincidense.
18. I can't test everything!
19. THIS can't do THAT.
20. Didn't I fix it already?
21. It's already there, but it has not been tested.
22. It works, but it's not been tested.
23. Somebody must have changed my code.
24. There must be a virus in the application software.
25. Even though it does not work, how does it feel?

Programming Is Like Sex

Syndicated from: code snipper
Contributed by: Emmanuel Caseñas. (The S_x Guru himself)


Because...

- One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
- Once you get started, you'll only stop because you're exhausted.
- It often takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you're doing.
- Conversely, there's some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
- You can do it for money or for fun.
- If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you're some kind of freak.
- It's not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
- There's not enough taught about it in public school.
- It doesn't make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
- Some people are just naturally good.
- But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you're wasting your time trying to tell them.
- There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
- One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
- It's a great way to spend a lunch break.
- Everyone acts like they're the first person to come up with a new technique.
- Everyone who's done it pokes fun at those who haven't.
- Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
- You'll miss it if it's been a while.
- There's always someone willing to write about the only right way to do things.
- It doesn't go so well when you're drunk, but you're more likely to do it.
- Sometimes it's fun to use expensive toys.
- Other people just get in the way.

Pinoy Joke: Tagalog Dictionary #2

Abuloy --- bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla.
Akala ---- alam na alam daw.
Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang.
Ama ------ pamilyadong gustong maging binata
Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga.
Bakit ---- tanong na laging mahirap masagot.
Bakya ---- tsinelas na may takong.
Baga ----- lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave.
Bagoong -- masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam.
Baldado -- hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay.
Bale ----- suweldong inutang.
Binata ------ lalaking gustong maging ama
Biyenan ------ anay ng tahanan
Kaaway --- ikli ng 'kaibigan na Inayawan.'
Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren.
Kabag ---- dighay at utot na naghalo sa tiyan.
Kabayo --- hayop na sinasakyan Ng kalesa.
Kabit ------ asawang nakatira sa iba
Kalbo ---- gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog.
Dalaga --------- babaeng gustong maging ina.
Dalaginding - dalagang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra.
Dighay ------- Utot na lumabas sa bunganga.
Dilim ---- liwanag na maitim.
E -------- ireng paseksi.
Gahasa --- romansang walang ligawan.
Ginang --- asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay.
Ginoo ---- asawa ni ginang na may inaasawang iba.
Gipit ---- kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan.
Ha ------- sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan.
Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala.
Handaan -- magdamagan na Palakihan ng tiyan.
Handog --- bigay na laging may kapalit.
Hipo ----- haplos na may malisya.
Hudas ---- tapat na manloloko.
Ibon ----- hayop na lumalangoy sa Hangin.
Imposible - pagtaas ng unano.
Ina -------- pamilyadang gustong maging dalaga.
Insulto --- walang hiyang biro.
Isda ------ hayop na hindi Nalulunod.
Itlog ------- pagkaing amoy utot
Ita ------- negrong Pinoy.
La -------- ikli ng 'lalalalala' sa kinakantang hindi maalala.
Lalawigan - syudad ng kahirapan.
Langaw ---- kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura.
Ma -------- tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na.
Malusog --- hitsura ng tumatabang balat.
Mama ------ tawag sa sosyal na ina.
Mano ------ kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo.... at bulsa.
Mantika --- katas ng piniritong taba.
Mayabang -------- abusadong tanga.
Maybahay -- dominanteng utusan sa bahay.
Nanay ---- Ilaw ng tahanan
Nakaw ----- hiram ng walang paalam
Naku ------ ikli ng 'nanay ko, nanay na ako.'
Nitso ----- bahay ng mga patay.
Nobya ----- gelpren na laking probinsya.
Ngalngal -- iyak ng walang ipen.
Ngisi ----- tawang tulo-laway.
Ngiti ----- tawang labas ipen.
Paa ------- bahagi ng katawan na amoy tuta.
Paaralan -- dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo.
Panata ---- dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod.
Regla ----- masungit na panahon ng pagkababae.
Sabon ----- mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan.
Sakristan - utusan ng pari.
Sampal ---- haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha.
Ta -------- ikli ng 'tita' o lalaking may bra.
Tamad ----- taong hindi napapagod sa pahinga.
Tatay ----- haligi ng tahanan
Utot-------- Dighay na lumabas sa puwit
Ulol -------- sobrang matalino
Wala ------- salitang tagalog na minana ng mga ingles.
Yaya -------- alaga ng ama ng inaalagaang bata.

Pinoy Joke: Tagalog Dictionary #1

>>>Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
>>>Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
>>>Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
>>>Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
>>>Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
>>>Devastation - sakayan ng bus
>>>Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
>>>Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
>>>Tissue - Ikaw nga!
>>>Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
>>>Dedicated - Pinatay ang pusa
>>>Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
>>>Deduct - Ang pato
>>>Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
>>>Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
>>>Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
>>>City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
>>>Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
>>>Persuading - Unang Kasal
>>>Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
>>>Defense - Ginamit na mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
>>>It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
>>>Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
>>>Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit,eh DELUSION)
>>>Delivery - Walang bayad. (di libre)
>>>Profit - Patunayan mo
>>>Backlog - bacon saka egg
>>>Beehive - magpakatino ka
>>>CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
>>>Debug - ang ipis
>>>Defrag - ang palaka
>>>Defense - ang bakod
>>>Defer - ang balahibo
>>>Deflate - ang plato
>>>Detest - ang eksamin
>>>Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
>>>Devote - ang boto
>>>Dilemma - brownout
>>>Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
>>>Forums - apat na kwarto
>>>July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
>>>Thesis - ito ay...

Ten Reasons Why Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody's home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.